....you know them 'taters got eyes!
I must be selective about the thoughts I share and the extent to which I delve into them. I guess when a person blogs, they must always be aware that SOMEONE could possibly read their innermost confessions and feelings. However, a person who blogs and shares such feelings could possibly be looking for not only an outlet, but others who share the same experiences who can offer advice, support, encouragement, etc......thus the double-edged sword of publishing your mind.
When I started this blog, I knew I would be posting pics of Maysie, so I sent a link to my friends and family. Plus I was looking for a connection to the outside world since, at the time, I had just had Maysie and was staying home (alone) with her. Now, my aunts read, my parents read, my ex husband reads, even T (Maysie's father) has read at least once. While I am glad that they have the opportunity to keep up with the goings on in my life, sometimes I get pretty personal with my blog. On occasion, I hear about it afterward. I don't like the idea that I feel the need to answer for or defend my feelings.
Example #1: My mother (who really is the world's greatest mom, btw) once called because she had just read my blog and was concerned because I sounded "so pathetic". Ouch! I suppose I did at that particular time in my journey through life, but aren't I entitled to my raw emotions and the expression thereof?
Example #2: T read a post where I vented my frustrations concerning his behavior. He reacted in a hostile manner stating that he read "words from a jealous ex who was trying to gain sympathy from her readers". The subsequent words that followed were not pretty; I won't even go into it. I will say, though, that that text-versation put him a breath away from losing Maysie (and me) in his life forever. And we would have contently been lost had he not wised up and made a phone call weeks later. Just to be clear, I did not send the link to him knowing that this blog could contain a few posts regarding him, but I did send it to his mistress/ girlfriend/ now (estranged) wife who used to be my friend. I suppose when they were getting back together she read that post and sent it to him to "tattle" on me. I guess I ought to be slapped for that one.
A more recent occurrence that raises my eyebrow is two author deleted comments on my previous post. I highly suspect my ex husband is behind them. I can't think of anyone else who comments on my posts who would feel the need to delete their comment. I can only imagine that whatever comments he might have made were snide, sarcastic remarks pointing the finger at me with references to the events surrounding the end of our marriage. I can't be 100% sure that it was him, but I feel quite strongly that it was. I'm sure either way that I'll catch it for this post anyway...but I am entitled to my opinions, right? Just to be clear- I didn't send the link to him in an attempt to avoid comments like the ones I suspect and any perpetuation of his hurt over the divorce, but he found it through my Facebook profile....where I posted a link.....I suppose I should think these things through, huh?
But isn't that the point of blogging? To say what's on your mind, clear your head, air your feelings, frustrations, concerns, spill your guts openly without being whipped for having feelings about life in general?
Sigh....what's girl with plenty of thoughts and opinions to do?
2 comments:
BTW, this is who deleted the second comment.
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Glad you feel open to blog. For the same reasons you discussed, I decided to make mine anonymous. Some of my friends read, but for the most part I blog for me.
I didn't want to have to edit myself based on who was reading. And I didn't want "Edgar" to find my blog.
And, Pusillanimous Wanker is right. I deleted my first comment because the link I posted was dead. Instead I reposted the comment without the link.
I've found blogging to be a great way to sort out my feelings. Does it work that way for you?
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