Zombie.....

Let me just start by saying how much I love my sweet little girl, no matter what. But I have been so tired lately!! She has developed some new sleep behaviors that I don't know how to steer back to a more desireable place- for both of us!

She has never really had too much trouble getting to sleep on time or within 30 mintues of her bedtime. In the past, she would occasionally wake up as soon as I put her down, but it took only another few minutes of rocking to get her back to sleep. No big deal. Night feedings were a breeze: she would wake up- not cry, just awaken- eat, then go back to bed easily. Great! 20 minutes, tops.

Lately though, that is not the case. The past week or two her initial going to bed difficulty has been escalating. I am keeping the same routine with her, but she is beginning to fight sleep .(apparently I did this too when I was a baby- payback?) I have tried laying her in her crib when she is tired, but not sleeping and letting her soothe herself to sleep. It has worked once with the help of her rainforest mobile, but not again since then. I have tried allowing her to be freaked out and panicy when she pops her eyes open as soon as I put her down and NOT pick her up again, but instead tell her it's okay in a soothing voice and rub her belly. No dice. I've tried just walking away with and without a mobile playing- not happening. She gets so distressed! She doesn't really cry, but I can tell she's unhappy. I've read that at this age (4 months) it's still too young to let them "cry it out". I'm not sure I could do that anyway when she's just this little.

Well, the initial bedtime is not the worst part. Now she refuses to go back to sleep after her night feeding! She usually wakes up 2 times at most. It's the second feeding where she resists going back to bed. It's the same thing; she'll fall asleep while I'm holding her. But as soon as I put her down, she opens her eyes and panics! The other night she woke up at 1:30. She didn't really want to eat or be rocked. She bucked around in my arms, but I rocked her and rocked her and tried holding her different ways to get her to sleep....I nodded off in the rocking chair a few times myself. Finally, I admitted defeat and decided to take her into bed with me. I looked at the clock- it was 4:30!!! I had been trying to get that child to sleep for 3 hours!!!

Now I'm at the point where I don't want to lose sleep trying, so when she wakes up I just get her, and bring her into bed with me, and feed her in there. I don't want to get into the habit of letting her sleep with me, but I'm at my wit's end!! Not to mention she kicks a bit, so I don't always sleep well. She does cuddle, though, which is nice, but I'm exhausted every morning and so is she!

If anyone has any advice out there, I'd love to hear it! I've done research and talked to her pediatrician, but I tried all of that to no avail.........

Generation Technology

I took my camera to the daycare last week. Kids are such hams; they love to stand like little statues in from of the camera and put on their most polite smile hoping I will snap a picture of them. Each time I did, the child immediately requested, "I wanna see!".

I remember the day when I had to wait until all the film was used, then a week for development. If I wanted an instant picture, I had to shake it for 30 seconds first!

My, how time and technology have changed the future leaders of our country (scary thought, isn't it!) Today's youth is so eager to move with the changing gadgets, but it seems the older folks are still holding on to what they know. My mom, for example, still has and uses her 35 mm film camera. My parents finally got cell phones, but Mom's is only on when she is out- if she remembers to turn it on. They have a land line with an answering machine at home . I haven't used one of those in nearly 10 years! I, on the other hand, still listen only to CD's or the radio; I don't own an iPod or MP3 player. I also just last year started using text on my cell phone, but I refuse to use the shortened lingo. Sure it takes more time, but I'm an English teacher. I just can't bring myself to do it! So, I guess I'm a bit stuck myself.

It makes me wonder what could possibly be next? What sorts of gadgets will Maysie be teaching me to use one day?

Even the more mundane items are newfangled for some. My mom took Maysie shopping the other day. I had to give her a mini lesson on how to secure the carrier to the car seat booster, and show her how to open and callapse the stroller. I've seen a picture of me when I was about 1 sitting in my car seat. It looked like one of those bleacher seats you can buy so you can sit and have a bit of back support at a sports event. Nothing like the "fasten here, here, here, and here," car seats we use today. Crazy! It makes me want to save my electronics as they are replaced, relics of an accelerated development techo-world!

Busy weekend!

Maysie and I did a lot of visiting over the weekend! She got to meet "aunt" Jenee and her family. (Maysie has many "aunties" even though I have no sisters, only one sister-in-law). Here she is with Avery, Aunt Jenee's little girl.

We also visited her "Mimi" and "Papa" - more friends with a family titles, I just love having friends like that! They hadn't seen her since Easter. Of course, everyone loves Maysie!!

Maysie saw her first fireworks show! We went out to eat with "Aunt" Dru and "Uncle" Andrew, then to a show; she did so good! She cried on the way there because she was hungry and doesn't always like her car seat, but she just coo'ed and watched during the fireworks. Such a good girl!

More exciting news: My little neice Marley Rae was born at 4:32 am on the 4th!! My sister-in-law was at the birthing center for about 2 hours, had Marley, then went home.......all three of her labors have been so short! There are pics on her website.

Maysie is getting so close to turning over. If it weren't for that pesky arm she'd be rolling all over the house! She like sit when I count to 3 then roll her over; she just smiles so big! She'll get on her belly, then pull her arms and legs up like one of those desert lizards cooling its feet.

She also got to see her dad and sister today, too. Surprised? He's making an effort to reconnect with me (as friends) and establish a relationship with Maysie. I think he feels more free to do so since he is ending his most recent marriage (Only weeks old). She didn't want him to be friends with me, but now he doesn't have to answer to her. I have written a new poem on My Art Closet in his honor......come to think of it, all of my poems have been inspired by his behavior and/ or my recovery from our relationship. From heartache comes art.

I thoroughly enjoyed all of the Maysie time I had this weekend!

I really enjoyed all my Maysie time over the weekend!

...in addition

In reference to my previous post, it was my ex who published and deleted a comment. It was not a rude one, he wrote to me in an email, just a private one. So I was right about one suspicion, but wrong about the other. Though he and I have remained friends since the divorce (we're good at friendship), I grew gun-shy to his bullets years ago. While he does not always keep his gun pointed at me, he does keep it loaded, and he is fast draw on who ever he feels needs a show down. You know it's true, wanker.....
I love talking in analogies!