Sweet Baby!

Today was my first day at my summer job. I chocked back tears when I dropped her off (eventhough I was only going to be ten feet away in the next room all day). She wouldn't take a bottle of breast milk from the teachers, so I took her in to the nursing room to feed her throughout the day. I loved every minute, but cried each time because I didn't want to take her back in there and leave her again. She didn't sleep much or eat much -even from me. I'm sure it was the extreme change in daily routine that caused it. I feel so guilty, but I absolutely have to work and this is the most ideal situation possible. Nevertheless, it is still very hard-not to mention all the recent drama surrounding her father and their pending relationship. (I'm too tired to go into that one...)

When I got her home I just held her and cried because I missed her so much. The poor baby was so hungry she ate five times between 6:00 and 7:30!! She feel asleep an hour before her bedtime, and I cried when I went to put her in her crib because I wanted more time. She opened her eyes as soon as I put her down, so I snatched her back up again.

I guess she wanted more, too! Just thinking about going back again tomorrow makes me cry. I missed so many smiles and little laughs and coos today, it's just killing me! I hope she smiled; I hoped they played with her, but there are 5 other babies that need attention. She's used to getting 1 on 1 with me all day.
I really like the job, but being Maysie's momma is the best job I could ever have! I'm hoping we both adjust soon....... can't handle much more stress and emotional upheaval.

These pics are from Memorial Day, by the way.